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I recently shared my 17 tips to organize your life after finding out what successful people do in their lives.
Then I got to thinking there is one “Mack Daddy Secret” that all of these people have and take for granted. They didn’t know to list this special secret because it was something that came naturally to them.
Unluckily for me – it didn’t come naturally. But I did learn it and can share it now with you!
The Mack Daddy Secret to a Happier Life is Letting it Go.
Sorry for the way over-done meme, but I couldn’t help myself.
Letting go of stuff is not my strong suit – at all. Since I was 10, I have given myself ulcers, without knowing it, due to stress. Luckily, as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten a little better. Ulcer free since 23!! Knock on wood!
Let Go When It’s Right
About 5 years ago, I had a nasty best friend-breakup. Forget breaking up with a guy, losing a best friend downright sucks. We were best friends in high school, college roommates, and I even introduced her to her now-husband. When it came time for the wedding, she cut me out. I’ve never been sure exactly why, and people on both sides couldn’t figure it out either….but anyways- She burned that bridge. I didn’t listen though, and I kept trying to rebuild that bridge through the flames. But, sometimes you just have to let it be burned, know you did your best, and eat some cheese fries.
When it came time for the wedding, she cut me out. I’ve never been sure exactly why, and people on both sides couldn’t figure it out either….but anyways- She burned that bridge. I didn’t listen though, and I kept trying to rebuild that bridge through the flames. But, sometimes you just have to let it be burned, know you did your best, and eat some cheese fries.
Let Go Of the Past
Going through the process of losing that friend, I had a lot of insecurities. Was I selfish? Not fun? Stupid? and the list went on. I started analyzing everything from my past. Even though nothing matched or formed a pattern, I held onto the hurt of losing that friend. So much so that it affected me wanting to make new friends.
It wasn’t until I let go of that past relationship and sadness that I started to see maybe I was just growing up and not being such a pushover about things. Now I have some amazing friends that I would never have met if that hadn’t happened or if I had held onto it forever.
Another example of the past is assuming you’ll be the same as your parents. Just because your parents had or did XYZ when you were growing up doesn’t mean you will. That was their story and now your onto yours.
Any cycle can be broken. You’re in charge and can do anything!
Let Go of Expectations
Expectations are my worst enemy. Even as a kid, I would put the highest expectations on myself to get the highest grades and all that mess. So much so I almost got suspended for the day in 4th grade for getting sassy with the music teacher.
She sent home a note (that only the failing kids got in front of everyone mind you) saying I wasn’t doing well. Don’t call me out, Mrs. T. Luckily, they knew I was a nice kid – but those expectations will turn you into something feisty.
The lesson was learned though. Don’t worry about what is expected, and don’t be too hard on yourself with your own expectations.
Will what you are worried about right now matter to you in 5 years? I can tell you that even sometimes when you think it will (C in Finance…whatever) it won’t. I could care less now, and no one has ever asked me what my GPA was after college.
There are also things you have no power over. You can’t control when Mr. Right is going to come along or someone else’s happiness. You just have to be you.
It’s so funny when I was single, I was asked “well, are you dating?” then “when are you two getting married?” now it’s “when are you two having kids?” Back off with the personal questions people.
Let Go of Others’ Opinions
Going along with self-expectations, it’s important to know whose opinions should be let go. There are 2 people in the whole world that I care about and will always value their opinions. Other than that, it’s best to let it go. The cool thing only you can choose to give their opinion power or not.
So keep in mind – some people are never going to get your dreams, personality or even your job. Let it go, and laugh all the way to the bank.
I also think it’s important to note that it’s not about being closed off – it’s about being focused and purposeful with your energy and mindset. Most people are in their own worlds thinking about their own stressors and opinions about them that they aren’t really concerned with what you are doing. So if they say something you don’t agree with or that is untrue, you have the same right to a different opinion. Just let it go.
As cheesy as it sounds, letting go of all of bad makes room for the good.
You are the only one in control of your mood and how you react to any circumstance. You can choose to stress, worry or be grouchy, or you can choose to spin it for the best.